Anna Hobson – Tales of Modern Courtship…

Anna Hobson’s poetry seethes with perfectly expressed anger as she peels the layers off human relationships exposing every nerve of the raw flesh underneath. The poem below is an example of flarf, a collage technique that takes lines out of context and reconstitutes them – part comedy, part social commentary, and wholly whatever the artist wants it to be, this poem “Tales of Modern Courtship 3” is made up of statuses found on internet dating sites and completes a breathtaking trilogy of funny and furious looks at modern relationships. She is the author of the wonderful collection Tales of Unrequited Love.

Anna will be performing at the Edinburgh Free Fringe as part of the Other Voices Alternative Cabaret on August 9, 10 and 11 alongside many other wonderful spoken word artists. If you’re anywhere near, do not miss them.

Find more of Anna’s poetry on her website or buy Tales of Unrequited Love here.

Tales of Modern Courtship Part 3: First Impressions

Mr Fun, looking for fun
Looking for Number One
Looking for good conversation.
Not quite sectioned!
Women, no preference.

Looking for someone enjoy fun times
Looking for genuine humanistic friends
Looking for righteous women
Looking for kind heated women
Looking for genuine exiting woman
Looking for honest and carrying woman
Looking for anyone really (females olny)

Looking for preety women
Looking for sincere careless respectable girl
Looking 4 naughty old womens

Sex only lady


My hobbies are following current affairs this description thing is long!
Hung like a whale, hang like a horse
Bigandwarm, big winky.
Hung like a midget’s thumb in a bush. Just curious.
My penis is 12”…around. Think about it.
MRLOVERLOVERUMMM isn’t looking for a relationship.

Welcome to Bhazclub sexy time!
Fun times not a long time.
Quietly outgoing guy.
Fancy a moustache ride?

Looking for the one who isn’t right
You want to ride with the Dark Knight?
Starship Sexerprise!
I love everything, which is nice.

Hello is it me your lookin for lol
Interests: music, football, mixing, drinking lol
I’m into airsoft I’m part of a team of players we go over to different parts of England playing it’s a bit like paintball but hurts more not saying I like pain just the fun and rush lol.

Are you a diamond in the rough?
Cheesy bellend seeks cheesy muff. That’s the smell of desire, my lady.
I want a date not a nut! What’s your flavour? Chocolate covered nuts.
I’ll love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Are there any women that aren’t complicated?
Man shortage don’t panic date.
Finding love in strange place.
Up the assssssss.

Bored of your vibrator?
I am ur man ur lookin for
Interested in you and what makes you go owwwwww
Ur a dream lukin woman wow.

I wana lady in d street freak in d sheet.
You’re not too old for me to put you over my knee!
Bruce Hornsby.

No likey, no lighty.
Do only overweight women have personalities?
Let the didgeri see the do,
I’m waiting for you.
Let the Y see the front,
It’s not me, it’s you (that I want!)
Let the banana see the split
Let the fish see the chips
Let the cat see the flap
Hot young endowed and black.
Let the pork see the chop
Let the flip see the flop
Let the pork see the pie.
Need a girlfriend, I’m getting RSI!

Caucasian Sagittarius with no hair.
I know you are out there somewhere.